Solo female travel can be daunting in and of itself. Couple that with the thought of eating alone in a foreign country, and some would simply avoid it altogether. But as they say, life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
For those brave enough to embrace independent travel, there are always creative ways to calm jittery nerves before heading out to dinner alone.
Dress for the Occasion
There is a certain level of confidence needed to walk into a restaurant and ask for a table for one. If you need an extra boost, why not get dressed up and give those curious eyes something to admire? Who doesn’t feel confident slipping into a favorite pair of heels, donning a whimsical blouse, or applying that “look at me” red lipstick?
Or, if you’re a man, a freshly pressed suit, polished shoes, and a nice tie. Naturally, when we feel our best, our self-confidence increases. So put on that special outfit you packed and rise to the occasion.
Partake in Aperitivo
Italian aperitivo, in a way, is synonymous with the American happy hour. It’s a time to gather before dinner for a quick snack, a cocktail, and some end-of-day socializing with friends. For me, aperitivo is an opportunity to calm my nerves before embarking on a solo dining adventure.
A little glass of Italian wine goes a long way when you need a boost of confidence. Luckily, many hostels host an aperitivo, and I always take advantage. If yours doesn’t, don’t hesitate to create your own happy hour—grab a bottle of wine from the local enoteca, along with some cheese and crackers, and you’re all set.
Adopt a Mantra
While a mantra might sound silly, don’t knock it until you try it. Sometimes calming your nerves is all about mindset. Choose something simple to say to yourself when your self-confidence dips, like “You can do this.”
If you have a favorite quote or song lyric, use that instead. As a big Bruce Springsteen fan, I like to use his lyrics to add a little pep to my step. In one of his songs, he says, “Walk tall, or baby, don’t walk at all.” I repeat this to myself whenever I need a boost. Positive self-talk can be powerful—especially when you’re on the verge of turning back to your hotel.
Tried and True: A Story from Italy
Walking up to the busy restaurant alone, I try not to notice the curious eyes on me. I can almost feel them wondering, “Is she here by herself?” For some reason, this bothers me—but I knew it would, and I prepared for it.
Decked out in my favorite dress, I walk confidently up to the hostess. A little red wine from an earlier aperitivo helps as I nonchalantly ask for a table for one. Walking past the dinner crowd, I repeat my favorite Springsteen lyric: “Walk tall, or baby, don’t walk at all.”
In no time, I’m seated and ready to spoil my taste buds. Naturally, I order a bottle of the house white wine. With a prime view of the town square, I settle in to enjoy a little people-watching.
Lovers stroll hand in hand on an evening passeggiata. Children kick soccer balls down alleyways. Short Italian grandmothers peek out of windows, surveying the evening scene—people-watching at its best.
Suddenly, the moment is interrupted as a man appears beside my table. “Excuse me,” he says nervously. “Are you alone?”
Wide-eyed and stunned, I stare at him for a moment. I’m pretty sure I’ve already seen him stroll by once or twice. I have no idea what to say.
He continues, “I apologize for interrupting your dinner, but there’s a long wait at all the restaurants. I’ve had an exhausting day of travel. Would you mind if I joined you?”
Struggling to find a way out, I pause. After a moment of mental tug-of-war, I decide to help a fellow traveler out and offer him the extra seat.
Ordering a bottle of wine earlier turned out to be a wise choice. I pour him a glass and refill mine as we awkwardly begin to chat. We soon discover we have a lot in common—both writers, both lovers of world travel. He tells me he just arrived from Tunisia.
“You must be exhausted,” I say. “Which hostel are you staying at tonight?”
He looks grim. “Actually, I didn’t think to reserve a bed, and everything is booked.”
I’m not surprised—Cinque Terre is packed in the summer, and its small towns fill up quickly. “After dinner, I’m going to grab the next train out and see where it takes me,” he says. “I just want a quiet place to write.”
Immediately, an idea pops into my head. “Mimmi’s! You have to go to Mimmi’s!”
Just a few days earlier, I was at Mimmi’s working on my own writing. I tell him about the charming bed and breakfast nestled in the hills of Tuscany. Aside from a delicious home-cooked meal and wine that calls your name, there are few distractions.
Without hesitation, we begin making arrangements. Instinctively, I pull up the rail planner on my phone. I find an evening train to Florence and a morning train to Chiusi and let him know he’s all set—safe rest tonight and a peaceful writing oasis tomorrow.
We raise our glasses, smiling in satisfaction. Cin cin!
After dinner, we exchange information. He says he might be able to connect me with people in the writing world. We both agree that solo travel brings the most interesting experiences.
“Safe travels,” I say, as he rushes off to catch the night train.
And now, I’m alone again—but I don’t feel lonely at all. It’s funny how meeting a stranger can change the course of an evening and make it unforgettable.
A few days later, I get a message. He’s arrived at Mimmi’s and is getting lots of writing done. Ironically, he sends a photo of his favorite writing spot—under the trellis by the pool with a view of the Tuscan hills—the same spot I sat just days earlier.
For a moment, I think how coincidental this all is. Then I realize—it’s not. There’s often a positive experience waiting for us when we push ourselves into the unknown.
Unexpected Experiences Await You Too
Solo travel is a chance to enjoy your own company and do things you wouldn’t normally do—like going to a restaurant alone. Some nights you might find unexpected company, while other times you’ll savor a decadent meal and good wine with some quality people-watching. Either way, venturing out on your own opens you to serendipitous encounters and unique experiences.
If your nerves feel rattled, dress for the occasion, partake in aperitivo, and adopt a mantra to ignite your inner strength. The only way to find out what awaits is to take the first step.
